Wednesday, December 27, 2006
Put my trust in the hands of you
Went away in mind that you'll take care of it
Open arms to mother it but what's the use
When with closed eyes you do it with?
For letting it go, how should I get it now?
Nets of capturing I wished to hit your head with
How could I ever put up with your distrust?
Well now you can go away then
Free as the things you've let go
When I was away
I can't rely on you anymore.
6:50 PM
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Tuesday, October 31, 2006
With this empty space crowding
In this hole I'm dying
My soul trap but now free
Falls away from me
Standing on the edge I run on myself
Believe me
Please believe me
I'd rather be lost in any spirit
Be in another - away from me
Away from eruptions and disasters of myself
I'm a disasterpiece
What's scary is that I love it
Free from soul of torture
Everyone else doesn't seem to understand
Screams for me to get away
But I won't listen to them
Believe me
Please believe me
I'd rather be lost in any spirit
Away from broken pieces of life
I'm a fragile disasterpiece
Playing dead just to escape
Pretending a voice so far away
This saga will hopefully end
Disappear within my own mind
But by time I'll break my bones to hide
I don't know how I came to be
But I'm not sure I want to
The aeroplane collides into the volcano
An eruption so vast it only destroys me
For then am I done - reborn in another
Away from me.
7:12 PM
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Friday, September 30, 2005
"Behind The Figure of Perfection"
Afraid - I won't ever look directly into your eyes
I'll sew pins into the lids of my eyes for you not to see
And my voice - it breaks, it chokes
Too high and low, pitches of mine are imperfect for you to hear
And imagination - fantasies I capture fast - I'll stitch to my reality
The very escape to run from this bleeding masquerade I call a life
Fear of crying, fear of everything
I feel like every single matters in your presence
But you would not look at me, even just see through me
Would you ever did, I would never to see this proof
For whenever I feel your mind turning, I would glance away
I'm a horrifying sight for your undefined beauty
Such a sight none has the words to console this heart
But you - your purity
Even such constellations form your name in the black night
The void captures all but your light shines in solitude
Seemingly perfect - figure of perfection
Yet I'm a contradict to your being - a mess of flesh and bone
Shrouded in misery, torn by blindness and divided by anger
A liar in disguise, none perfect in your eyes
Ignore me
[Choose to ignore me]
Ignore me
[I'm the horrifying sight in none's corner]
10:07 PM
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Saturday, August 06, 2005
"32:36 - Time of the Arsonist"
A creation of fascination, the orange flames runs high on air
It stays there, beautiful and charming yet it keeps blistering me
As you and your words you've shoot to me like those bullets
Like throwing water to the fire, I've died so many times hearing them
Your words are always hurting me and I've said nothing
Drive me to the end of a cliff
But don't go off, just set the car on fire with me inside
Don't tell me what you think, it doesn't matter now
A lesson I hope for you to learn, I hold the burning flame in a fist
Inside the car, I took you in and drove the way to your home
I placed you inside, kept you confused and locked the doors
Set the house on fire and then I laughed
Drive me to the end of the cliff and let me burn
But you're now replaced with me in that vision
I watched as you scream helplessly and still I'm laughing
Pleasure runs through my spine - I'm not insane
The flames eats you up beautifully and near me, it doesn't touch
Should I throw the water to the workings of fire and stop this?
No, no - I've worked hard enough
My eyes shelters itself from your dying cries
I kept on watching and your hands finds the glass window
You shattered them but so suddenly you came to silence
Never you came crawling out, chasing me with laughter
I took a step back, my lips sealed in silence, I turned and left
You and your words now lays buried under charcoal ashes
I watched as you scream helplessly my name repeatedly
Help mixed with tears and the fire is too strong it burns through
The flames eats you up beautifully and it doesn't even touch me
It doesn't even touch me
You deserve every flame you got
You deserve everything you got
11:47 PM
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Wednesday, July 27, 2005
"Behind Every Laughter"
And hurt crawls inside of me, crushing insides
My heart cries but my mind pretends that it's all a comedy
And I laugh on the outside - the sound escapes out to my mouth
My expression changes to humour
I hide the pain so no one would ever know how I feel
When the blood of pain slides from flesh to flesh
I just smile and pretend it's nothing when it cuts like a knife inside
And I laugh, I smile, I jest like it's all nothing
You think I'm fine when I'm not and you've never ask anyway
But finally I didn't like what I felt one day
I couldn't control the tidal wave of emotion rushing through
That very night you left my memory and I began laughing
The wound won't last, I thought, it won't break me and I'm laughing my way
But the laughter proved louder than sounds I've heard and made
It echoed through the halls of loneliness, each deafening
And suddenly, I stopped - powerless to my own self
I sank to the floor like a dying sun
My laughing sadness began drowning like a dropped anchor
On the ground I sat for a still moment
And I cried the tears that I've never shown before
8:21 PM
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Saturday, May 07, 2005
-breaking-
Should I love you?
Should I think all of those words that I never say for you?
Should I even think of you right this moment?
This feels right yet wrong all the same
But worried, afraid -
Of what you'll say
If only you knew how my heart feels
But I will not say a word
I will not say anything that would ruin this
I am afraid of chances - afraid of breaking perfection
But of all: I'm afraid of breaking you
6:55 AM
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Monday, May 02, 2005
Gaze into my eyes and read
The burnt letters I've wrote for you
Words of small quantity yet so big in its value
Nothing will disappear from here to my memory
Yet you wont say what I hoped you will
And it hurts me, hates me, it coldly breaks me
Cuts me up in pieces to know you dont care
But in the end all this tragedy wont break me
It'll heal me, fix me, it will be forced to love me
Strange feeling clawing inside of me for release
I shall obey - I feel everything now except for one
One which are now like salt to my wounds
Like a knife to a wrist - it shall stay away
I ... am ... loveless ...
5:59 PM
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